For some reason, Pinterest and I have a habit of going down a word rabbit hole. I've been reading many quotes lately and want to talk about it. This quote is the one that spoke to me today.
You can't open up the story of my life and just go to page 738 and think you know me. - ft./the idealist
This made me think back to an experience that fundamentally changed me. I found myself in a situation where I had mistakenly let my guard down because I thought it was safe. Then I got sucker punched by my corner coach, and it rang my bell. (sorry for the MMA references, but it paints an appropriate picture).
It's easy to protect yourself from the assholes. You know they are assholes, and you expect them to be assholes. It's much more complicated when the people you thought weren't assholes turn out to be assholes. (how many times can you say assholes in one paragraph?).
I'm exaggerating a little. I don't believe that everyone is an asshole. We all get caught up sometimes in our world and think we know how to relate to other people's situations when we don't. My life is only mine. What I go through, the things I do, the choices I make, they are mine. I assure you that I did the best I could with what I had then, and it's OK if you don't like it. You don't have to like it.
What's not OK is if you insert yourself in the situation by offering your help but then make sure that I pay for it in the long run by jumping at the first opportunity to publicly embarrass me and remind me that I'm not part of your family. Shame on me for thinking you wanted to help when you offered. Lesson learned. From now on, I shouldn't take you at your word.
The whole situation was exhausting, and I hate turmoil so much that at some point, I would've eventually gotten over it and let it go. Still, the unapologetic apology came when you told me that you knew exactly what it was like to be me and that you managed to navigate your situation just fine. That was supposed to make me feel better, but it didn't. You don't know what kind of mom I am, what kind of dad my son has, what kind of relationship my son has with his step-parents. You don't know how hard the last couple of years have been and all the work I've done to maintain some normalcy in our daily lives. I wouldn't expect you to know all of that. I hope you would be open-minded enough not to say hurtful things when you haven't walked a mile in my shoes. Also, say what you mean and mean what you say. I'm too exhausted to keep up with when I can believe what you say and when I can't, so be straightforward. I assure you that I will be straightforward right back. I hope you have the day you deserve.