After a lot of research and going through a variety of assessments and lists of values I believe I have identified my top 10 (subject to change). Keep in mind these are what values I find to be most important, not necessarily that I have mastered these, that is kind of the point in the exercise. Here they are in no specific order.
1. Humility - Self confidence without arrogance, modesty and restraint. Courage and the willingness to admit mistakes. Self respect without excessive self-promotion. Authenticity and self-awareness.
2. Creativity - The process of bringing something new into being. Not to be confused with craftsmanship, simply coming up with the idea of something. To take a unique perception and develop it so that others can understand.
3. Honesty - Tell the truth, speak up don't withhold information. Your actions match your words. You are the same person now matter where you are or who is around.
4. Accountability - Do what you say you are going to do. Follow through on commitments. Take personal responsibility for what you do and say and how you behave.
5. Ambition - The quiet voice inside your head that you don't even notice takes over and tells you what you want and how to get it. Its your sub conscious mind.
6. Family oriented - Appreciating your family, it is a state of mind that guides your actions with friends, family, relationships and basically anyone you come into contact with.
7. Expressiveness - A large part of communication is nonverbal that is where expressiveness comes in. It is your tone of voice, hand gestures, facial expressions.
8. Independence - Able to articulate a vision of your life and carry out whatever it takes to achieve it. It requires commitment, responsibility, determination, leadership and emotional strength to face obstacles, having the capacity to become self-sufficient.
9. Optimism - Anticipate the best possible outcome. Positive thinking that centers around you being responsible for your own happiness. You take every experience as an opportunity to learn or grow.
10. Love - compassion, kindness, acceptance, patience, understanding, forgiveness, selflessness and humility.
I started a new job back in April and on my first day they gave me a copy of the book: Strengthfinders 2.0 and it basically assesses and identifies your top five strengths, most people don't even know what their strengths are much less how to use them. It teaches you how to focus on and build upon your strengths rather than working on or fixing weaknesses. So I read the book and then I took the online assessment and these are my top five strengths:
1. Ideation -Fascinated by ideas. Likes to play devils advocate, always tries to appear confident and polished. Perceived as knowledgeable, trustworthy and accomplished. Has a rich vocabulary, sound reasoning and enjoys doing things most people have never even considered. Takes on the responsibility of making strangers, newcomers or outsiders fit in and feel comfortable.
2. Strategic - Create alternate ways to proceed. Good at taking notes and accumulating lots of information. Fascinated by language makes it effortless to verbalize thoughts. Easily pinpoints problems and identify best solutions.
3. Adaptability - Discover the future as it comes. Takes in the world's loveliness and discover uniqueness in common objects, ordinary people and everyday experiences. Flexible when dealing with change, doesn't stick to a schedule so well, prefers to deal with things as they come.
4. Relator - Enjoys close relationships with others. Likes to share knowledge and skills with others and specializes in making things, theories, processes simple to understand. Describes things in a way that everyone can understand.
5. Command - Can take control of a situation and make decisions. Self-sufficient, assertive and bold. Motivates others with passion moving ideas into action. Often influences the actions of others.
I'm pretty sure these are extremely accurate although I was surprised, I would have guessed a different top five for myself.
There are 34 strengths, here's the full list:
Recently I have been doing some soul searching because I want to be the best version of myself as often as possible. In order to do that I felt like I need to know a variety of things so as I started to try and define those I thought it would be fun to document it into my own personal manifesto.
What is a manifesto?
Dictionary.com says this:
noun, plural manifestoes.
1. a public declaration of intentions, opinions, objectives, or motives, asone issued by a government, sovereign, or organization.
I started with these broad categories:
1. Define strengths
2. Identify values
3. Consider passions
4. Clarify beliefs
5. Create policies
So I guess this will be at least a 5 part series, be sure to check back, leave a comment, ask me a question, tell me I'm pretty. You know whatever you feel like doing!
Five Questions and My Answers:
1. Relationship status: My iPhone is my +1
Why are Men from Mars and Women from Venus when neither of them are livable planets?
Is it rude to ask someone in an online dating forum to send a picture holding a newspaper with todays date on it?
Why do cows not have front upper teeth?
Why do bats always go left when exiting a cave?
Why do pilots tell you the route they are taking, I mean its not like we get to fly the plane?
Is there an app that will erase your phone number from someone else's phone?
Do turtles just think that frogs are homeless?
Do cops know they are dressed like strippers?
I'm like the Michael Jordan of relationships but when he was playing baseball..
The first rule of Introvert Club is don't talk to me. The second rule is I don't even like clubs, I quit.
I'm going to start talking to my car, just in case it is a transformer.
I turned wine into a hangover.
That's it, I'm going back to being a ninja..
If you don’t do stupid things while you’re young, you’ll have nothing to smile about when you’re old. Recently I have been insuring that I will have entertainment well into my 90's.
Decided I only like clicky pens when I'm the clicker..
Do you think Batman uses fabric softener? Maybe one of those downy balls?
My new pickup line for guys is asking them if they want to be my emergency contact.
If you're trying to get me to secretly set off a bomb, tie the detonator to the cork of a wine bottle.
Voyager 1 left the solar system 1 year ago and still gets a better signal than an iPhone at my parents house...
To all of my ponytail holders (wherever you are...) I hope you're happy!
I admit this post is going to be a little out of my comfort zone because I usually prefer privacy and to keep my personal life personal but I've learned some really challenging lessons recently. Lessons that I wish I would've learned at a different place during a different time. Chalk it up to life lessons I guess and I will ultimately be a better version of myself for it.
The relationship I was in recently for nearly a year ended not long ago, this happens to be the first time I've ever been on the receiving end of this so as you can imagine not only was my pride hurt but I was really confused too because I thought we were really perfect for each other, I thought he was the one and as naive as it sounds, I honestly thought he felt the same way. Nevertheless, that was not the case and for whatever reason it was not our time. I took it really hard and I was living proof that women are crazy and after this, I'm not sure I ever want to get back on another roller coaster, this one did me in!
No matter how logical I tried to be, no matter how many pep talks I gave myself, I couldn't fight the intense desire to reach out to him. As you can imagine, all I did was make it worse. I said horrible things, things that I didn't mean. I basically lashed out at him because I was hurting and I wanted to make sure that he was hurting equally. The problem with this thought process is that I was being completely unfair because he is the most amazing man I've ever met (my dad excluded).
I'm just now getting my bearings and starting to look at things with a clear mind. Justin was really good to me, our relationship (for the most part) was extremely healthy (especially if you look at my track record). Sure we had obstacles to work through but in the end we seemed to work through them fairly well. We had a whole lot of fun together and were very supportive of each other. I think I could speak for both of us when I say that we both deeply cared for each others family and friends as well. I will always hold a special place in my heart for all of the Tipton's and I want to thank them all for the positive impact they've had on my life.
After having some time to reflect and settle down, the whole experience makes me smile and I'm so grateful for the experience. The first lesson that has become clear to me is that you can take two amazing people and put them together and they may not be amazing together forever. That doesn't make either of them a bad person it just makes us uniquely ourselves. The second lesson I've learned is that I have to do a better job of being accountable to myself.
I had so much fun with Justin and the band that I didn't even notice that weeks would go by where I wasn't playing pool at all, I wasn't writing or spending much time with my family. You know it took me a long time to become strong, driven and independent and now looking back its like I made a choice to trade all of that in for someone else's goals, dreams, commitments. I lost myself in loving him and while I could have probably went on like that for a lot longer, now I understand that eventually I would start to resent him (even though I really did it to myself).
No one asked anything of me, everything that I was doing was my own choice because I genuinely wanted to be a part of what The Tipton's represent. They are an amazing family and the band is incredible! If you haven't seen them I strongly suggest doing so at some point! I have no doubt, they are going to accomplish great things, I wish them all success and happiness and I feel privileged that I got to know them as well as I did. I will forever be a fan!
Man this post is getting long and I am sure my soap box is ready for a break so I will try to wrap this up. I want to say thank you Justin for teaching me so much about myself, for always making me smile and for sharing so much of your world for me and always making me feel wanted and loved and like I belonged. I also want to say that I am going to be alright, in fact I'm going to be great and I know you will be too! I needed a chance to ground myself again and you gave me that, words can not express how much I respect and admire you.
Thank you for giving me a chance to experience what I would consider a really wholesome relationship. I can't wait to see what the future holds but I'm excited and ready. I will always have love for you and I wouldn't change a thing. I wish you nothing but the best!
Happy Friday! Feel free to comment, they are always welcome!