I have not always been a good friend. In fact, there are a few specific times when I was a really crappy friend. In some of those cases, I am blessed to have such forgiving people in my life who were able to give me another chance, and in other cases, I am left to accept the consequences of my actions.
I try to make sure the people I love know how much I love them and how grateful I am to have them in my life. I apologize when I am sorry, I speak my mind when I have an opinion, I solicit feedback and advice when I'm lost or unsure, and I hope that the street between us is always two-way. Our hearts never run out of love; they are fascinating organs. We might run out of patience, we might become blind and resentful, we might forget how to be unconditional, but we never run out of room in our hearts to love. Life gets busy, kids and family are growing and changing, requiring different things from us and we sometimes feel like the most talented juggler in a circus of our very own, but one thing stays the same. We make time for those things or people we find essential. These days I find myself holding more and more with higher importance, and I've noticed myself trying to hold on tighter. I crave intelligent conversation, I look for opportunities to have meaningful dialogue, and it isn't always accepted the way I intended. In some cases I've been greeted with the kind of "no thank you" you expect a telemarketer to get sick of, in other cases, I just keep leaving voicemails on an answering machine with no tape to record the message. It isn't all bad though because I've also learned my worth, the value of my friendship. I would rather know where I stand and know when to throw in the towel than to just keep banging my head against the wall of a soundproofed room. I'm not sure I made any real point here, but I think what I am attempting to say is, that the cost of friendship is free, the value is priceless, but it all comes down to choosing to be intentional. |
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