Miscommunication

​When I engage in conversation usually it's not just to hear myself talk, I want to be understood, I think most of us have that goal in mind. My communication style is intuitive which means that I only care about the forest, not the individual trees. Details are cumbersome to me. The most significant reason for miscommunication in my interactions happens when I'm talking with functional communicators. Those who crave the details, clarity, planning, and end points. They overlook nothing and account for all aspects. Often the difference in styles creates obstacles which lead to misunderstandings. 

I get so frustrated when I'm talking, and there is no response, no acknowledgment. It feels like I'm just providing information rather than having a conversation. Then I feel like what I have to say is not important. I'm left reeling over things like, did I mention something I shouldn't have or use the wrong words? Was I not clear, did I leave out necessary details? By the time we talk, again I have over-analyzed the previous conversation to an unrecognizable state (see my post on Assumptions). Which doesn't solve anything, in fact, it only creates more problems to work through. 

As hard as it is to do in practice, I try to keep reminding myself that feelings are never right or wrong, they just are. So I have to convince myself that I shouldn't take it as a personal attack. The person I was talking to wasn't engaged in the conversation because I didn't provide the details needed for him to invest. That or, I dominated the conversation because I wasn't listening to listen, I was waiting for my turn to respond. Once all of that is out of the way, it's pretty easy to clarify and remedy the situation (though getting to that point can feel like an eternity sometimes). 

I also have a terrible habit of getting frustrated and then shutting down and just responding "ok" when deep down I don't feel "ok, " but I refuse to say anything. I don't want to make it worse but that whole thought process, if put into action, does make it worse. I think all of it could be avoided by just staying in the moment and asking questions until everything is crystal clear, but man is that tough to do because we all have pride and that pride does not like being swallowed! I'm not perfect yet, but I am well on my way! Haha!