Expectations

Expectations are a funny thing. We want ours to be met but we don't talk about them. We want to meet other people's expectations but we don't have a clear understanding of what meeting them even looks like.​ Often expectations are unmet because they are unknown and unknown because they are unspoken.

Ask yourself, "are my expectations clear to me? Could I explain them to a first grader? Does my partner understand the why behind them? Did I provide context?"

These are the questions I should know to ask myself when I feel like my expectations are not being met but instead I sometimes prefer to throw a fit like a toddler. I just want to be mad. I want to be crazy and blurt out all the things that have me frustrated so that I can feel better and after I'm done being mad I am ready to go back to pixie dust and unicorns.

That is not acceptable behavior though, and pixie dust and unicorns aren't real. What is real is the residue left behind from being angry and the hurtful words that didn't make you feel better, but you said them anyway.

If you want a different result, you have to try something different. Clear expectations allow you to be yourself. When there are clear expectations, they are either met or unmet, leaving nothing to hide. Remove the confusing gray area and stick with black and white.

​The best relationships are transparent and don't come with fine print. Don't expect your partner to fix all your problems, don't expect them to know what you want or need rather tell them, there will be plenty of better-suited situations to be put in the hands of your imagination go ahead and call this one like you see it.