I like to think that in general, I am a decent human being and that I have no enemies even though it's not realistic. I don't always do the right thing and I know I've made some epically bad decisions over the years, but I also know that I try hard to the right my wrongs and make amends when possible. I still get the (not so subtle) reminder from time to time that I am relevant enough to have haters still.
I am hard headed, and it takes me a while to learn life's lessons, usually because I refuse to take the easy route. I have found a new appreciation for peace and peace of mind as I get older and I think I have reached a point where I am now able to self-reflect and in turn, take responsibility for my actions (and even admit when I'm wrong on occasion). I am smart enough to know that I don't have it all figured out and honestly I never will because I won't always get it right, mistakes are bound to happen. After many years of arguing my side of things thinking that if I just explain it the right way, I can get my point across. I learned that fighting is a competitive sport and most people will do everything they can to win even when it means losing sight of what the argument was even about in the first place. So now I know that it isn't worth fighting every battle that presents itself because sometimes winning is not a win. The only thing that matters is the risk and reward and whether or not I can live with the consequences that come with each outcome. Taking the high road is not easy, but I do take it more often than I used to. Even when deep down I would like nothing more than to use the extensive vocabulary I have acquired (thanks to dictionary.com) to annihilate my adversaries. The funny thing is that it only takes a few "be the better person who doesn't play into the drama" experiences to realize that the best revenge strategy is not giving them what they want, which is a response. |
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