I would like to say that I'm adapting well to all of the changes. I'm still learning that it is not possible for me to be three different people but I can adopt some of the traditions that were most important to them and make sure those continue. I allowed myself to believe that I was gaining some life balance, but that is not the case. Instead, I think I have adjusted enough to free up the brain capacity needed to see that other things have changed too and not in a positive way. In all fairness, some of it was probably there all along, and I was either too naive to see it, or I refused to acknowledge it because doing so would mean that the foundation I have built upon and the values I believe in are just smoke and mirrors. Unfortunately, once you open your eyes it is not possible to just close them and forget what you saw and since I am not capable of just ignoring things I am forced to address them.
My family is sacred to me. They give me strength and power and most of all they give me courage. I remember starting my first "real" job, and one of my co-workers mentioned that he had not spoken to his family in over a year and honestly, that completely blew my mind because at the time I talked to my mom, dad, sister and brother on weekly, sometimes daily basis. For the life of me, I could not begin to understand what could keep someone from communicating with their family because my family is such a huge part of my world. While I hope I'm wrong, I am starting to think I understand how that can happen now.